Talk:Hidden (Fanfic) (Not finished!)/@comment-26492176-20151124164002

Now, criticism, if I may.

I find the story to be rather interesting, yes. The concept is one which can be considerably lengthened and made into a good fanfiction. My concern lies not on concept, but general layout.

Allow me to further explain. The way of which you write it is a hassle to readers as I. For the most part, it seems toi be blocked, making it hard to read text. some chapters lack speaking, others have too much. There needs to be a balance. The choice of words and the general writing style also seem weak. It just seems as if this were moreso done lazily, despite it being not on laziness but rather time.

I do hope I wasn't too blunt. If anything, please do inform me if I must delete or edit this comment. Do excuse me.