The Kindness of Humans/Transcript

(Opening Music)

Rhal: This is utterly ridiculous! I can't believe I have to meet with the Council!

Lady Bish: Rhal, darling, what did you think was going to happen when you were next in line for the throne?

Rhal: That I would be able to KILL all my problems! Now all my problems are going to kill ME!

Lady Bish: Darling, it's just a meeting. You're clearly overreacting.

Rhal: No, not that! Asch! He still isn't back yet! It's been MONTHS!

Lady Bish: He-He still isn't back yet?

Rhal: No, he's not!

(knock on door)

Guard: Prince Rhal, Lady Bish, pardon my intrusion. I hope I didn't ruin any moment you two may be having.

Lady Bish: He's been whispering sweet nothings to me.

Rhal: I SWEAR! This better not be about that meeting!!

Guard: Uh, uh..f-funny you should mention that...

(screams from Guard)

Lady Bish: Rhal...

Rhal: WHAT?!

Lady Bish: Go to your meeting.

Rhal: AARGH! I. HATE. THIS. SO. MUCH!!! Asch is DEAD!

(breaks down door)

Lady Bish: This truly concerns me. Asch has been gone for an uncomfortable amount of time. If he isn't back in time for Rhal's coronation, Rhal may have to take Asch's place. Which means...the crown will fall to another...

(her cat enters)

Lady Bish: Oh, you're back, my darling. What is this?

(sniffs)

Lady Bish: This is magic residue. It's rather old based on the smell, but potent for being old, which means it was cast by someone with a good quantity of magic. Show me where you found this.

...

Lady Bish: Quite the mystery indeed.

Lady Grandma: Well, well, if it isn't my DAUGHTER, married into my family.

Lady Bish: Lady Grandma!

Lady Grandma: What are you doing in my ritual room, Lady BISH?

Lady Bish: Forgive me, Lady Grandma. However, I could sense a strong presence of magic had been used here.

Lady Grandma: Sense? Ha! You smelled it. I forget your...unique...gift you have with that nose you stick into everyone's business!

Lady Bish: Hmm? Couldn't tell, but it just concerned me so...by the way, why was there such an amount of magic used here? It seems rather odd, especially with Asch's disappearance as of late...

Lady Grandma: ...I suppose you have a right to know.

Lady Bish: Tell me.

Lady Grandma: I've been experimenting with magic and potions in order to make myself young again! Once Pierce sees my young, beautiful self, he won't be able to resist me!

Lady Bish: ...

Lady Grandma: Oh, come on! You heard stories about Daemos all over the land who fought over me.

Lady Bish: ...Of course, Lady Grandma. I'm willing to let you go this time, so long as you promise to not work with magic that way again. You know very well magic is becoming scarce. I'd hate to report you to the Council for such misuse of it.

Lady Grandma: Ooh, right...I almost forget about the magic crisis...when you get to my age, your mind doesn't work as well as it used to...

Lady Bish: Understandable, Lady Grandma. By the way, you said Asch was out on a self-journey...pray tell where he may be?

Lady Grandma: Hmm?

Lady Bish: Rhal is worried Asch won't be back in time. Do you perhaps think that Asch...is abandoning his duties for the greater good?

Lady Grandma: ...Asch isn't needed right now. If you were in Asch's situation, you'd probably want to see the world, too, before everything came to an end! Asch is needed when his time is ready. He'll be back when the time is right, I can assure you.

Lady Bish: ...fine. You seem keen on letting Asch have his time away from the kingdom.

(starts walking out)

Lady Bish: I hope your frail mind doesn't forget when the time comes.

(walks out)

Lady Grandma: Oh, trust me, I won't forget...wench! Sigh...at least I bought them some time. That woman won't give up that easily.

Lady Bish: I'm not an idiot. I know that old hag is smarter than she lets on...and I know she's hiding something. Come, we have work to do.

(Theme Music)