Zane the YouTube Star/Transcript

Jess: Hi, and welcome to the Kawaii~Treat Maid~Sweet Cafe! Today, we have so many professionals ready to serve you. Are you ready to go in?

[Cameraman nods.]

Jess: Good!

[Indistinct screaming and shouting.]

Jess: Like I said, we do things professionally here. And if you want to support our cafe, remember to check out our wonderful shirts, of course. Available for a limited time only! Today will be your last day to get one! And, um--

Jordan: No! No, stop, no!

[80's police car chase music.]

Jess: Remember, if you want to support our very professional maid-- Very, very professional maid cafe! (quietly) Make sure we delete the other footage. Um, that you check out our cheap shirt right here. And of course, it is available--

Calvin: Buy this t-shirt!

Jess: Very professional.

Calvin: Also, really, I think Jordan needs an ambulance.

Jess: It's okay, we can heal him with cookies.

Jordan: (calls) Guys?

Calvin: Okay.

Jess: Mm-hmm.

Jordan: (calls) Guys, I need some help.

--

Zane: Here's your order. Here you go.

Shelley: Oh, my gosh, he's right here! Do you think he'll sign my autograph book?

Male Customer: (sighs) I swear, Shelley... You're so into Internet celebrities. You know that guy isn't that popular, right?

Shelley: Hey, he seems cool and you never know. Maybe he'll be big someday and I want to show him that I support him!

Male Customer: (chuckles) You're cute. If you want his autograph that badly, you should ask him before he leaves.

Zane: (groans; leaves)

Shelley: Oh, no! I was too shy!

Male Customer: Don't worry. We'll try once more before we leave.

Zane: Aphmau!

Aphmau: (startles) Gah!

Zane: You did this!

Aphmau: (nervously) Did what?!

Zane: Make me popular!

Aphmau: Oh, you mean the whole "you being an Internet sensation" thing?

Zane: It's gotten ridiculous!

Aphmau: I know. I'm so sorry, Zane. I honestly wasn't expecting it to explode like it did.

Zane: Look at all this fan-art I got online!

Aphmau: Wow, some of these are nice.

Zane: (chuckles) I know. But that's not the point!

Aphmau: Wait, how did you even get this fan-art? I thought you didn't do social media.

Zane: Well, I, uh...

Aphmau: Zane...

Zane: Uh...

Aphmau: Do you secretly like the attention?

Zane: No, I don't!

Aphmau: (laughs) It's not a bad thing. As long as you don't let it go to your head.

Zane: I'm not! I--

Aphmau: (gives him a death stare)

Zane: (sighs) Fine. I'm okay with it. I just don't know how to deal with this sudden turnout.

Aphmau: Well, if it makes you feel better, I took the video down. I'm only letting customers in that are paying and I've put up a sign that says "No Pictures". Plus, I'll walk you home until this dies down.

Zane: I appreciate it.

Aphmau: (chuckles) Hey! You're not the only one. The same thing is happening to Eli.

[Flashback.]

Eli III: (meows)

Cat #1: (meows) I saw you on the Internet, Eli!

Cat #2: (meows) We love you, Eli!

Eli III: (meows) Thank you! Thank you, everyone!

Aphmau: Where did all these cats come from?! Aaron!

Aaron: Hey, is something wro-- (screams) Where did all of these cats come from?!

Eli III: (meows) The Internet!

Aphmau: Oh, can we keep them?

Aaron: Are you crazy?!

[End of Flashback.]

Zane: I'm just not good at socializing and to have everyone want to suddenly be my friend?

Aphmau: Well... Maybe it's not a bad thing for you to make new friends.

Zane: No! I mean-- No one knows me as well as you do.

Aphmau: Hmm... Well, I mean, everyone we know considers you a decent friend.

Zane: Funny. They don't really talk to me.

Aphmau: Well, I mean...

Zane: It's fine. Besides, you're the only friend I need.

Aphmau: But--

Laurance: Hey, Aph, we got a lot of customers that just came in.

Aphmau: Right. Zane, we'll talk later. For now, take it easy and let me know if there's anything I can do.

Shelley: Um, e-excuse me?

Zane: What?!

Shelley: (shyly) I'm so, so sorry to bother you, but... Can I get your autograph?

Zane: (taken aback) My autograph?

Male Customer: I'm sorry. I know you're working, but my sister is a huge fan of the Internet. She thinks your video with the adorable cat was cute, so she wanted to get your autograph.

Zane: I-- I-- (chuckles) Sure.

Aphmau: (laughs)

Laurance: That's probably the nicest thing I've ever seen Zane do for someone that wasn't you, Aph.

Aphmau: I'm so proud of him. Maybe this whole experience is actually a good one.

Shelley: Thank you so much!

Zane: (chuckles) You're welcome.

Garroth: Oh, that was really nice, Za--

Zane: Leave me alone!

Garroth: Hey!

Aphmau: (chuckles) Next, we need to work on his "brother issues".

Laurance: (bursts out laughing)

=MyStreet Lover's Lane=

♪ Wearing light shoes ♪

♪ Walking down the shore ♪

♪ Diving head first down to the ocean floor ♪

♪ Your dark brown eyes reflect fireflies ♪

♪ Slipping bright nights ♪

♪ Getting me high on life ♪

Aphmau: (sighs) Glad to see the whole rush from this morning has died down.

Lucinda: You sure have been busy. But this place has been a hit.

Aphmau: Yep! It's really fun. Speaking of fun, it's nice to see you out during the day hours.

Lucinda: (sarcastically) Ha, ha, very funny. (giggles) It just so happens that I'm taking this week off, so I had to make some time to come to the cafe.

Aphmau: Well, let me know if you need anything, Lucinda.

Lucinda: (gasps) Some more cherry cheesecake would be perfect.

Aphmau: Sure! I'll go get that for you!

Garroth: Hey, Aph!

Aphmau: Yes?

Garroth: Can I get your help in the kitchen with a few sweets?

Aphmau: Sure! Be right there!

Lucinda: Take your time with that cherry cheesecake. (giggles)

Ivan: (enters)

Kawaii~Chan: Hello there! Welcome! How may I be of service to you today?

Ivan: I'd like to eat in.

Kawaii~Chan: Perfect! Kawaii~Chan will take you to your table! Here you go. Would you like a menu?

Ivan: No, thanks. I'm a regular.

Kawaii~Chan: A-ha! Kawaii~Chan thought you looked familiar!

Ivan: You've just never been my server. (chuckles) I'll take the devil's food cake and a coffee-- Black.

Kawaii~Chan: Coming right up!

Lucinda: (quietly) Oh, shoot! This can't be happening.

Ivan: Well, well, well...

Lucinda: Ugh... I was just enjoying my day off, too.

Ivan: Mind if I sit down?

Lucinda: (laughs) Of course I mind.

Ivan: Lucinda, can I please talk to you?

Lucinda: You have one chance and make it all in one sentence. Go.

Ivan: Okay. (takes a deep breath) Lucinda, I realize now what I did all those years ago was a big mistake and I really did like you for more than your looks back then, and I was only bitter and said the things I said to you because I didn't want to lose you.

Lucinda: Aww, well, you did a really good job of doing that now, didn't you?

Ivan: Lucinda...

Lucinda: No, I know you, Ivan. And right now, I'm not in the mood to listen to you. I'm just enjoying my day off, so please leave me alone.

Ivan: (sighs) Fine.

Lucinda: (quietly) Even now, he doesn't even put in effort. (sighs) He hasn't changed.

Aphmau: All right! Now, to put this on display!

Aaron: Aph...

Aphmau: What?

Aaron: You've got something on your face.

Zane: Here, let me get it. (wipes her face with a towel) There.

Aphmau: Thanks. (sighs) That would've been embarrassing.

Gene: All right, here you go. One-- Oh, you again.

Ivan: Long time, no see.

Gene: Seriously? You come here at least three times a week. What's your deal?

Ivan: I just wanted to point something out. You see that girl over there? The one I think you might have a thing for?

Gene: (scoffs) I don't have a thing for her. And yes, I see her.

Ivan: Aww, denial is so ugly on you. Anyway, who are those two guys next to her?

Gene: Why does it matter to you?

Ivan: They like her, too, don't they? (chuckles) My, isn't she popular.

Gene: Ha! For your information, one of them is her boyfriend. And the other... Is some kind of clingy.

Ivan: Clingy, huh? So, you'd say they're... Close?

Gene: Close doesn't even begin to describe it. Zane's weird and treats Aphmau like she's... I don't know.

Ivan: His girlfriend?

Gene: What?! No! That's-- He doesn't--

Ivan: Just some food for thought.

Lucinda: Gene, you've been there at that table long enough. Don't stay there for too long or you might smell like him!

Ivan: I can hear that!

Lucinda: Aww, does it look like I care?!

Ivan: (growls; sighs) Either way, just think about it.

Gene: There's nothing to think about! (to himself) Is there?

-

Damien: This is it. I'm gonna ask her today. Hey, Kawaii~Chan!

Kawaii~Chan: Yes?

Damien: Well... Look, you and I have known each other for a few weeks now and, uh... Well, we like the same anime, food, and other things, so... I wanted to see if maybe you, uh... Wanted to go on a date with me!

Kawaii~Chan: A d-d-date?!

Damien: Yes! Don't feel like you have to. Trust me, I-I take rejection really well and, uh--

Kawaii~Chan: I'd love to!

Damien: (chuckles, nervously) That's okay. I wasn't expecting you to say yes, anyway. Uh, but-- Wait, you said yes?

Kawaii~Chan: Uh-huh!

Damien: You mean yes to the date or yes to rejecting me?

Kawaii~Chan: To the date!

Damien: A-Are you sure?

Kawaii~Chan: (giggles) Of course I'm sure! Kawaii~Chan thinks Damien is cute and a date sounds fine!

Damien: Wow, well, okay then! I'll, uh... I'll get you more details later?

Kawaii~Chan: Sounds good!

Damien: Perfect! (to himself) Don't faint. Don't faint. Don't faint. Don't faint. Don't-- (faints)

--

Aphmau: Next, we need to make sure we have--

Kawaii~Chan: Aphmau~Senpai!

Aphmau: Hmm?

Kawaii~Chan: Kawaii~Chan got asked out on a date!

Aphmau: (chuckles) Wow, Kawaii~Chan!

Laurance: Congrats!

Garroth: Yeah, way to go!

Kawaii~Chan: Does Aphmau~Senpai have any pointers on dating?

Aphmau: Hmm... I was never good at them.

Garroth: Aww! Remember Aphmau's first date with Aaron, Laurance?

Laurance: Yeah.

Aphmau: Wait, what?!

Aaron: I'm confused.

Laurance: The movies, remember?

[Flashback.]

Aphmau: (blushes) Ugh, that was not a date!

Aaron: Yeah, our first date wasn't for a long time. We were just friends back then.

Laurance: Sure... I remember you saying--

[Flashback.]

Laurance: Aphmau, why aren't you pulling away?!

Aaron: Maybe because we're really on a date, thanks to you guys.

Laurance: Ugh! Aaron!

Garroth: That's it! I've had enough of him!

[End of Flashback.]

Aaron: (blushes) T-T-That was to tease you guys!

Aphmau: (giggles)

Garroth: Well, it worked back then.

Laurance: Look, Kawaii~Chan, if you want any advice on dating, you should ask me. I've been on plenty.

Kawaii~Chan: When was the last date you had?

Laurance: Uh... Well, it was during college, so...

Kawaii~Chan: I see.

Aphmau: Hey, guys? Can we talk about this after work? I'm gonna help you, Kawaii~Chan, but we need everyone on the--

Zane: (screams)

Aphmau: Ugh, what now?!

[Fangirls screaming and squealing.]

Zane: Aph!

Aphmau: (sighs) Why did you take out the garbage?! I said not to go outside!

Zane: Help!

Aphmau: Lucinda...

Lucinda: Cat potion?

Aphmau: Cat potion.

[Potion bottles shatter.]

Zane: No, no, no! No more cats! (screams)

[Cats meowing.]

THE END

(Made by LibertyArrow712)

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