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...Who Is The Boyfriend?/Transcript
Episode 15
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The Most Impressive Things Guys Do

How To Date A Guy In 7 Words

Jess: Merchandise promotion inside of an RP that isn't the RP the merchandise is for? (Whispering) It's free real estate. (Normal volume) But look at me, I've achieved my true form. (Poof) Just kidding, my true form is Aphmau because she's better in every single way! Ha! Bias! But seriously, they're both equally awesome so be sure to check them in the description down below, both the Aphmau and Aaron ears and the Aphmau and Aaron jacket. So you and your BFF or lover can wear them together and it'll be so cute! But wait, Aphmau, I don't have a BFF or a lover. (Gasps) Well then screw it, just get them both for yourself because you're a single pringle who don't wanna mingle and you can just spend money on yourself, you don't gotta care about anybody else, ha! Look at this merch, check it out in the description down below, I'ma go destroy the world, bye.

Daemos king: Tell me, both of you. Where. Is. Asch?!

Rhal: He has gone on a journey of self re... Re... Re... Re, uh...

Daemos king: What is this journey of self re?

Lady Grandma: Self-Reflection. Asch has embarked on a journey to reflect upon his life and-

Daemos king: At a time like this?!

Lady Grandma: I understand your anger, but I ask of you to hear me out.

Daemos king: (Sighs) I'm listening.

Lady Grandma: Never before in the history of Daemos have we as a society ever faced the extinction of magic, but now, here we are. We as royalty and the high council must now face dealing with information before it falls into the knowledge of our subjects.

Rhal: Wait, our people do not know?

Lady Grandma: This is why attending meetings is important, Rhal.

Rhal: I mean, I... Um... Right! I remember since I attended all of my-

Daemos king: Silence!

Rhal: Y-Yes.

Lady Grandma: As I was saying. In the midst of war with the other kingdoms we are faced with making a terrible choice, a choice which Asch will fall victim to. As his grandmother, I've allowed him time to go on a journey he is needed to-

Daemos king: (Hits the side of his throne, making the entire room shake) As the former queen of Daemos I would not expect you to become so soft, mother, yet, here we are.

Lady Grandma: As it would seem.

Daemos king: How long has Asch been gone?

Lady Grandma: 3 months.

Daemos king: The day Asch is to fulfil his duty is drawing closer and now I find out he's missing?

Lady Grandma: I can assure you, I will personally him myself when he is needed.

Daemos king: Tsch, if you were not mother I'd have killed you by now.

Lady Grandma: It's important to look big on the throne, I understand.

Daemos king: Right now we are at war with the other kingdoms of Daemos, they are seeking to take the throne of which I sit.

Lady Grandma: And if they take it and find out about the magic crisis.

Daemos king: Exactly.

Rhal: Uh, what?

Daemos king: In 3 months we will be reaching the final deposit of magic, to which I want Asch to perform his duty.

(Lady Grandma and Rhal are shocked)

Lady Grandma: B-B-But what about the last soul?!

Daemos king: Too valuable, Asch will come first, to which will happen in 3 months time, at that point Asch will stand before me, and if not Asch, Rhal, you will take his duty.

Rhal: Uh, me?

Lady Grandma: You know, what you're proposing is not going to solve the overall problem! We were ignorant in the fact that we did not conserve the hum-

Daemos king: (Hits the side of his throne) SILENCE! Have Asch stand before me in 3 months, that is all.

(Lady Grandma and Rhal bow, but only Lady Grandma leaves)

Rhal: Father...

Daemos king: If you do not want Asch's duty then you best bring him before me in 3 months, otherwise you will have his honour.

Rhal: Yes... (Leaves)

(In Earth)

Andrew: Well?

Devon: Her uber's almost here, she's about 5 minutes away.

Andrew: Good. Oh, right, ugh, that reminds me. You aren't going to get nosy with her, are you?

Devon: What? Me? (Laughs awkwardly) No! (Sips a drink)

Andrew: Devon!

Devon: Hm?

Andrew: You're trying to avoid answering.

Devon: Wow, Andrew, a man can't drink his coffee without being attacked?

Andrew: I asked you a simple question, you don't have to be over dramatic about it.

Devon: I swear, your politician side is showing a little too much.

Andrew: Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that after all these years of marriage you can't give me a straight answer.

Devon: I don't think any of us could give a straight answer.

Andrew: Oh, haha, very funny.

Devon: It's a joke, Andrew!

Andrew: I'm serious, answer the question. Are you going to be nosy about Ava's new friends?

Devon: No, I'm not.

Andrew: That means you are.

Devon: (Gasps) After all these years together I think you would know me better!

Ava: Dad, pap! (Arrives to their table)

Devon: Ava, my baby, did you bring any of your friends with you?

(Ava is speechless)

Andrew: Told you.

Devon: Shut up!

Andrew: Never mind your father, pumpkin, come sit down and we can catch up.

(Ava sits down)

Andrew: We took the liberty of ordering your favourite for ya.

Ava: Oh, thanks! Sorry I'm late.

Devon: You would've been even later if you walked, y'know?

Ava: Yeah, probably. Thanks for getting me the ride.

Andrew: Any time, pumpkin.

Ava: So, how have you guys been?

Andrew: We've been doing good, just, uh, been a little worried about you.

Devon: Mrs. Oats told us you were sick, why didn't you call us?

Ava: I just needed to rest as all.

Andrew: She told us she was helping to take of you.

Devon: Did you have any other help as well?

Andrew: Devon!

Ava: Um... I mean, some of my friends came by.

Andrew: Oh, well I'm glad you had some help with-

Devon: Was it Noi?

Ava: Huh?

Andrew: I swear to god, if you-

Devon: I bet it was Noi! I bet Ava was sick and Mrs. Oats came over to take care of her when suddenly Noi was waiting outside with flowers. He ran into Mrs. Oats who told him Ava's was sick and like a good want to be lover he dashed into the room to take care of you with the power of love, but then all of those other heathens were waiting to swoop in and they all came to you, our darling princess with gifts of affection! Suddenly your heart was torn, not knowing who to pick as the person you truly love.

Andrew: Oh my god, please kill me now.

Ava: Please take me too.

Devon: Look, as someone who wants to write his own work of romantic fiction someday, I hope to learn more about being the object of many people's affections from all perspectives.

Andrew: How do you know they even like her that way?

Devon: Um, she's my daughter so obviously she's a catch.

Andrew: She's my daughter too.

Devon: Oh, right. She's doomed!

Andrew: Hey!

Ava: (Laughs)

waiter: Will you need some ice for that burn, sir?

Ava and Devon: (Laughs)

Devon: Well, I guess we've really never talked about that, huh?

Ava: Talk about what? (Drinks her water)

Devon: Relationships and love.

Ava: (Accidentally spits her water in Andrew's face)

Andrew: Uh, sir, may I get a napkin?

Ava: (Coughs) I don't wanna talk about that kinda stuff.

Devon: Ava, come on, you're a grown woman and I've heard the birds and the bees talk to you so many times.

Ava: (Blocks her ears) Lalalala! I can't hear you!

Andrew: (Dries his face with napkins) Pumpkin, I think it's a valid talk we should have. As your parents we wanna make sure you're well educated to make good decisions for yourself to-

Ava: Ha, I can't hear you! (Giggles)

Andrew: Ava, I know you're listening, not dumb, you're as nosy as your father here.

Devon: Hey!

Ava: Ugh, even if I am listening, is it appropriate to bring up pretty talk here?

Andrew: Ava, you're not a child anymore, someday your prince or princess will come into your life and you'll enter a relationship.

Ava: Ha, pfft! Please, I don't even know what you're talking about.

Devon: Ava, we've seen your browser history before, you can't hide what you know from us.

Ava: What? How?

Devon: Well, when you were under our roof and using our computer, you were pretty dumb about not deleting your browser history.

Andrew: We know you watched Anime.

Ava: Ah!

Devon: And Netflix too, the romance genre was just all over your history.

Ava: Why is my love life so important all of a sudden? I just want to be friends.

Devon: Yes, but you lied to us and pretended to have a boyfriend, and Noi is obviously interested.

Andrew: Ava, as your parents, we just want you to make wise decisions, and uh, I guess we just don't want you to be lonely when you get older.

Devon: We're all for how you wanna live your life, Ava, but knowing that someone else is there you can rely on and trust just reassures us that you're happy. It doesn't have to be a lover, it can be a friend or anyone.

Andrew: He's lying, he wants you to get married. (Drinks his coffee)

Devon: Darn it, I'm serious. As wonderful as it would be to see you walk down the aisle, I just... I just want you to be happy.

Ava: Thanks.

Devon: Also, I'm sure 1 of those guys is your type based on the movies you like.

Ava: (Blushes) Pap!

Andrew: Now now, Devon, don't go prodding.

Devon: I can't help it! Besides, it wouldn't hurt to at least think about what it would be like to be with someone.

Ava: How do I know if I want to be in a relationship with someone?

Andrew: Hm? Uh, well...

Devon: Simple, just try to imagine what it would be like if they watched your favourite movie scene with you for the hundredth time, then if you think they can do that then it might be worth a shot.

Andrew: That's not a good way to go about that at all.

Devon: I mean, for me it is. Besides, smoochies our best during movies.

Andrew: (Whispering) Oh, come on now, we don't want her to turn out like Mrs. Oats.

Devon: (Whispering) Do you think she knows about Mrs. Oats' past?

Ava: I can hear you guys, y'know?

Andrew and Devon: (Screams in fright)

Andrew: Hey! Let's eat, shall we?

Devon: Yes! Let's!

(Andrew and Devon eat their food)

Ava: (Thoughts) Y'know, I wonder what it would be like to be with 1 of them.

(At Ava's apartment door)

Ava: Me in a relationship? Yeah, right! (Goes inside to see Rhys cooking) Hm? You're cooking?

Rhys: Oh, Princess Ava. Yes, I am cooking. I had a conversation with Mrs. Oats about the nature of food here on E-Earth.

Mrs. Oats in flashback: Oh, you want to learn how to win Ava over?

Rhys in flashback: Yes. I'm not familiar with human culture.

Mrs. Oats in flashback: Oh, calm down, sweetie, you're just looking for relationship advice.

Rhys in flashback: Um... Yes, that.

Mrs. Oats in flashback: Well that's mighty bold of you to go behind the others backs (Giggles). Well, since you helped me cooked before, I might as well tell you that the quickest heart is through her stomach.

Rhys in flashback: Wha? By-By my stabbing her?

Mrs. Oats in flashback: Oh heavens, no! I mean food. Every lady loves a man who can cook, just don't let her know that you want to do this to impress her, she'll be even more impressed you're doing it without motivation.and want you more (Laughs). Here, let me get you my cook book and some ingredients.

Rhys: And... I just wanted to study cooking more. (Laughs awkwardly)

Ava: Wow. Rhys, that's awesome!

Rhys: Thank you! (Thoughts) Yes! It's working. Ava seems thoroughly impressed. Once I impress her enough, perhaps I will become king of E-Earth.

Ava: (Whispering) A relationship with Rhys? I mean, Rhys is super cool and hot, now he's cooking, that makes him almost irresistible! But, how would that be?

Ava in her imagination: Oh god, this is my favourite part!

Rhys in Ava's imagination: Fascinating, you've seen this part over 50 times yet you are not bored of it?

Ava in her imagination: Uh, no, that's why it's my favourite part.

Rhys in Ava's imagination: Do you have a new favourite part?

Ava in her imagination: No.

Rhys in Ava's imagination: Fascinating.

Ava: (Whispering) Hm... I feel like he would ask too many questions during movies.

Asch: Prisoner!

Ava: Hm?

Asch: (Approaches Ava) Y-Y-You look cute today.

Ava: (Blushes) Huh?!

Asch: (Blushes) But don't think anything of it! (Leaves)

Ava: W-W-What was that about? (Thoughts) Wait, what about a relationship with Asch?

Ava in her imagination: Oh god, this is my favourite part!

Asch in Ava's imagination: I hate this part!

Ava in her imagination: B-But it's my favourite.

Asch in Ava's imagination: If you love it so much, I will destroy it! (Destroys the TV)

Ava: Yeah, something like that. Hm? Ugh! I'm blushing, I need to splash my face with water or something. (Goes into the bathroom and washes her face)

Leif: (Teleports inside) Why hello there, princess.

Ava: (Screams in fright) What are you doing here? Didn't you knock?

Leif: (Shows a heart shaped present) I just wanted to give you this.

Ava: (Takes it) W-Where did you get this from?

Mrs. Oats in flashback: (Shows Leif the present) Here, give her this, it is sure to win her over.

Leif: I "found" them.

Ava: T-Thanks.

Leif: Don't forget this, it was me who gave you that. Love it! (Teleports away)

Ava: What's going on? Why are they acting so weird? (Thoughts) Wait, what if I was with Leif?

Ava in her imagination: Oh god, this is my favourite part!

Leif in Ava's imagination: I'll kill it! (Destroys the TV)

Ava: How would he even get out of that habit? (Goes out of the bathroom) Huh?

Noi: Um... T-These are for you, Ava. (Giggles and gives Ava some flowers)

Ava: (Takes them) Aw, Noi, thank you so much!

Noi: You... You like them?

Ava: Yeah, I do. How did you know I liked these kind of flowers?

Noi: Haha, I just did. See you around! (Leaves)

Ava: Wait, seriously, what's going on? They're all acting strange. Wait, what about, Noi?

Ava in her imagination: Oh god, this is my favourite part!

Noi in Ava's imagination: I will get you more favourite parts, Ava! (Jumps out the door)

Ava: He's so eager to please. I mean, maybe.

Asch: Stop trying to steal her from me!

Leif: I thought we agreed that it didn't matter who she married as long as we get the magic, right?

Rhys: You 2 need to stop.

Asch: Thank you!

Rhys: It is obvious she is most impressed with me.

Noi: You cheated!

Rhys: Did not!

Asch, Leif, Noi and Rhys: (Argues with each other)

Ava: Okay...

Johnny: (Meows as Pierce pets him)

the spirit: (Growls at Johnny)

Ava: (Goes by Pierce) Any idea what they're arguing about?

Pierce: No.

Ava: (Sighs and sits on the couch)

(Pierce pets Ava)

Ava: Huh?

Pierce: You seem to enjoy when I do this.

Ava: Heh, thank you. (Thoughts) Hm... What about, Pierce?

Ava in her imagination: Oh god, this is my favourite part!

Pierce in Ava's imagination: Yes.

Ava: (Thoughts) I mean, Pierce doesn't speak that much but...

Asch: Hey, what are you doing?

Pierce: Comforting, Princess Ava.

Noi: Hey! That's my job!

Rhys: Did you ask her for permission?!

Ava: All right, that's it. Why are you guys acting so weird?

(They all blush)

Rhys: (Sighs) Um, forgive us, we... We were...

Mrs. Oats: Oh, Ava, I see you got your hands full.

Ava: What are you doing here, Mrs. Oats?

Mrs. Oats: You left the door open, so I was worried. If everything alright?

Ava: (Giggles awkwardly) Everything is fine! (Giggles awkwardly)

Mrs. Oats: Oh, good! You know these boys all have a crush on you? (Laughs) They all came to me for advice on how to woo you (Giggles).

Rhys: You weren't supposed to tell her!

Mrs. Oats: Oh, I'm just speeding up the process! (Laughs) Toodles! (Leaves)

(Ava is speechless while blushing)

Asch: Marry me, prisoner!

Ava: Marry?

Leif: No way! Me!

Noi: I'll fight you guys for her!

Ava: I-I can't... This is a dream, right>

Rhys: I'm taking the throne of E-Earth!

Ava: And I'm dead. (Faints)