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Are Meif'wa Afraid Of Cucumbers?
MSSSE3
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"Kawaii~Cookie To The Rescue"

"Make MyStreet Great Again"

[Dante and Travis sit on their couch, watching videos on Dante's phone and laughing hysterically.]

Dante: Again, again!

Travis: Uhm, buddy? You've got the phone.

Dante: Oh, right..

[They watch the video again. A woman puts a cucumber behind her cat to scare him.]

Woman: Okay, okay. So I have no idea if this is going to work, but cats are supposedly afraid of cucumbers, so- Ooh! Oh he's turning! He sees it!

[The cat sees the cucumber behind him and jumps away, terrified.]

Woman: [laughs] O-Oh my Irene..!

Dante: [through laughter] I can't do it man..! I-I can't deal with this right now..! Another!

Travis: [through laughter] You still got the phone!

[Kawaii~Chan suddenly busts down their front door, running past.]

Kawaii~Chan: Hello sorry, I just need to borrow some sugar!

Dante: Why are you yelling?

Travis: If you need sugar, I'm right here baby!

[She frantically runs into the kitchen and takes a bag of sugar. She starts to run by them again.]

Kawaii~Chan: Okay, it was nice seeing you-..?

[Dante and Travis look at her ears.]

Kawaii~Chan: Okay, bye!

[She leaves.]

Dante: Oh my Irene...

Travis: Kawaii~Chan's a...

Dante: Meif'wa...

Travis:: Which means..

Dante: Cat..

Travis: Cucumber.

Dante: To the kitchen!


[They rush into the kitchen. Dante holds a cucumber like a baton while Travis watches.]

Dante: Attention! Saucy Professor Dante officially has the plan of the century.

Travis: Since when do you have a degree in sauciness?

Dante: Since forever! I wrote a book on getting chicks you know? Writing a book qualifies me for a professor degree.

Travis: You mean a master's.

Dante: Whatever! Here, take this.

[Dante gives him his phone, and Travis starts recording.]

Dante: Okay, so here's the plan-

Travis: What plan? We find Kawaii~Chan, put a cucumber behind her, and see what happens.

Dante: And film it.

Travis: Right, we'll film the prank!

Dante: Prank? We are scientists Travis, this is no prank!

Travis: ..Uh-huh.

Dante: It's not a prank if you record the results! It's an experiment! Our contributions to Meif'wa research will be legendary. Science wins again!

Travis: Correction, Professor Dante: It's not a prank if you follow up the experiment by saying 'It's just a prank, brah!'.

Dante: Ah, right right.. Come on. The testing will begin! 'Operation: Are Meif'wa Scared of Cucumbers' is a go!


Aphmau: Let's see.. Lettuce, bacon, cheese, barbecue sauce, and onion rings! Perfect!

[While Aphmau is about to eat her cheeseburger, Aaron comes downstairs and fixes himself a bowl of salad, sitting beside her.]

Aphmau: Hey.. what are you eating?

Aaron: Uh.. salad?

Aphmau: Aaron?

Aaron: Yeah?

Aphmau: Do you, uh.. Do you think I'm chubby?

Aaron: W-Where did that come from..?!

Aphmau: Well.. you know.

Aaron: Do I..?

Aphmau: It's just.. you eat so healthy compared to me! Do you think my food is affecting me?

Aaron: Aph, I think you're beautiful.

Aphmau: Awh, thanks..! ..But I didn't ask if I was beautiful. I want an honest opinion.

Aaron: Uh..

Aphmau: Come on, lay the truth on me! I can take it!

Aaron: [to himself] So this is what it's like to be dropped into a lions' den..!

Aaron: I think the biggest problem here is that you eat.. horrible. You eat fast food a lot, and that's not healthy. That being said, you.. are a little chubby, but honestly I think a little chub is cute!


[Aphmau cries in the closet.]

Aaron: You asked me for my honest opinion! I'm sorry!

Aaron: ..Babe?

[Aphmau comes out, looking dejected.]

Aaron: Babe, I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that-

Aphmau: No. No, I'm sorry, I just.. You said I didn't eat healthy!

Aaron: Wait, what?

Aphmau: You said I make horrible food choices! Which isn't true!

Aaron: Oh thank Irene, I thought you were mad because of the other thing I, uh-... I mean come on babe, let's be honest: you rarely make healthy choices!

Aphmau: What?! I eat like a queen! Remember last week?

[She has a flashback. She eats one piece of broccoli.]

Aphmau: Yummy! Welp, that's my veggies for the week! And now the main course.

[Aphmau devours a cheeseburger, and the flashback ends.]

Aphmau: I ate one whole broccoli! ..Stem.

Aaron: That doesn't really count. You need to make consistent choices! The fact that every nearby McRonald's knows your first and last name is bad.

Aphmau: ..And social security number.

Aaron: What?

Aphmau: Nothing!

Aaron: I just think that you need to stop going there.

Aphmau: But who's going to help iris pick out her wedding dress?!

Aaron: Who's iris?

Aphmau: The lady who works in the drive-thru, she-

Aaron: Okay, you need help!

Aphmau: Okay fine, fine! No more fast food! ..Right after the cheeseburger.

[Aphmau eats the cheeseburger she got earlier.]

Aphmau: [mouth full] We're still going to Iris' wedding!

Aaron: Fiiine.. but she better not have any McRonald's food there.

Aphmau: [on the phone] Iris? Yeah, you may want to change your dinner options.

Aaron: Oh, for the love of-


[Kawaii~Chan tends to her garden. Dante and Travis watch from the bushes.]

Kawaii~Chan Red velvet cake.. Purple frosting..

Dante: It's happening..! She's going to-

Travis: Shh..!

Dante: Oh man.. I think she heard us!

Travis: Shh!

Travis: Are you even breathing?

Dante: You farted!

Travis: What?

Dante: Move it! We're right in the cloud path!

Travis: I didn't fart!

Dante: Do you know what they say? The one that denies it, let fly it!

Travis: That's the exact opposite of what they say!

[They start to fight in the bushes. Kawaii~Chan mistakes the rustling for an animal.]

Kawaii~Chan: You..!

Dante: She walked right past it! [gasps] She's coming this way! I think she knows we're here!

Travis: We gotta get out! If she finds us..!

Kawaii~Chan: Those gophers again, trying to dig up my flowers..! Ugh! I'm gonna get the hose and flush you out myself! [giggles] I've got you now..!

[They start to run, but Travis drops Dante's phone in the bushes and it gets sprayed.]

Dante: Wait! My phone!

Travis: Our necks are more important right now!

Dante: No, my phone..! My mixtape is on that!

Travis: Since when do you have a mixtape..?!

[They hide in a hot tub.]

Travis: You never told me you had a mixtape.

Dante: Doesn't matter! Right now we're on a mission. Come on!


[Aaron comes home with a bag of groceries.]

Aaron: Hey, I'm home! I've got some delicious stuff for you! ..Aph?

[He finds her in a room upstairs eating cheeseburgers.]

Aphmau: [hisses] My precious..!

Aaron: You only made it 20 minutes you Hamburglar!

[He takes her downstairs, laying out some of the stuff he bought on the table for her to choose from.]

Aaron: All right, now let's pick out a few things you might like!

Aphmau: [hisses]

Aaron: Oh come on, they're not that bad!

Aphmau: What if I don't like any of it?

Aaron: You won't know unless you try!

Aphmau: I'm... not exactly hungry though.

Aaron: Ugh. Maybe you need to build up an appetite. We need to get you active.

Aphmau: Active? [giggles] You mean like... together?

Aaron: Yeah! Let's go for a jog.

Aphmau: Oh.

[Aaron jogs down the street while Aphmau lags behind.]

Aaron: You got this babe! Just push a little more!

Aphmau: I'm dying, Aaron..!

Aaron: [gasps] Oh my Irene babe, someone left a a fresh cheeseburger in the bush over here..!

[She rushes over.]

Aphmau: Cheeseburgers grow in the wild?!

Aaron: Over there!

Aphmau: Where?! I'm serious Aaron, where's the burger?!

Aaron: [laughs]


[Kawaii~Chan makes Aarmau themed cupcakes while Dante and Travis hide in a closet nearby.]

Kawaii~Chan: Red velvet cake.. purple frosting.. Oh, and my secret ingredient for maximum ship potential!

Dante: All set?

Travis: Let's do this.

Kawaii~Chan: Hmm.. milk?

Dante: Now!

[Travis tosses the cucumber right behind her.]

Dante: Nice work assistant saucy. There's no way she'll miss it this time!

Travis: Unless some literal force of nature comes and ruins everything.

[Katelyn walks in and spots the cucumber on the ground.]

Katelyn: Ah nice! I was hoping we had a cucumber for my smoothie.

[She picks it up and puts it in the blender.]

Dante: Darn!

Travis: [sighs] Maybe cucumbers don't affect Meif'wa after all.. What if this is all for nothing?

Dante: Listen. There will be a cucumber jump-scare. I swear on the sacred creed of bro honor! I will make sure this cucumber scares the tail off Kawaii~Chan, or die trying!

[Katelyn opens the closet door.]

Katelyn: W-.. Why are you..?! Did you two sneak into my house?!

Travis: Oh no.

Dante: We weren't-.. uh.. We were just looking for those sick beats I dropped! [beatboxing]

Katelyn: You're making a mixtape.. in my house?!

Travis: Run!

[They sprint past her and out of the house. Travis accidentally knocks Kawaii~Chan as he runs by, planting her face in her finished cupcakes.]

Kawaii~Chan: M-My cupcakes.. I was gonna put them in my Aphmau and Aaron shipping shrine..! [yells] DANTE, TRAVIS!

Katelyn: Get out of our house!

Dante: Check out my Soundcloud..!

Katelyn: Never!

Travis: Oh my Irene, Kawaii~Chan's on a rampage!

Dante: Run!


[Aaron and Aphmau jog down the street until Aphmau collapses.]

Aaron: You did it babe! Three times around the neighborhood!

Aphmau: [groans]

Aaron: And I bet you worked up an appetite too! I'll whip you up a salad!

Aphmau: Thank you for looking out for me honey.. I love you.. [groans]


[Dante and Travis continue to run from Kawaii~Chan.]

Travis: Throw it, throw it! It's our only hope!

Dante: I just need.. a clear shot!

[He throws the cucumber. It lands in front of Kawaii~Chan and stops her in her tracks.]

Kawaii~Chan: Snake! Snake snake snake snake snake..!

Dante: Yes! Travis, get the camera!

Travis: I dropped it!

Kawaii~Chan: Eeep! Somebody do something!

Aphmau: Kawaii~Chan?! I'll save you!

[Aphmau dives onto the 'snake', fighting it.]

Aphmau: There's only.. one way to end this..

[She eats the cucumber.]

Kawaii~Chan: Aphmau..! You are so brave!

Aphmau: I am? I mean-.. vegetables are hard to eat!

Dante: Awh, man!

Travis: Book it!

Kawaii~Chan: Thanks for saving me Aphmau! Here, a cookie for dealing with that nasty cucumber!

Aphmau: Thanks, but.. no thanks Kawaii~Chan. I've got a salad with my name on it!


[Aphmau starts to tear up when she gets home over giving up the cookie.]

Aaron: Awh, you made a good choice!

Aphmau: [sobbing] I feel s-so good..!


Dante: Maaan.. I'm so upset we didn't get that on camera!

Travis: Hey, it's okay buddy.

Dante: [groans]

Travis: You know what? I know what will cheer you up. Some cat videos~!

[He plays a video.]

Woman: Okay internet.. I have something amazing to show you. My cat has been.. cat breaded! Mwahahah!

[She shows her cat with bread on its head, and the video ends.]

Dante: You thinking what I'm thinking?

Travis: I'll go get the bread!

[They rush into the kitchen to grab bread.]

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