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Ivan: Seashell bras.. No underpants.. Their skin has yet to prune.. They're mermaids! There is no doubt in my mind, they are absolutely mermaids..! There's no way two beautiful girls would survive in these waters if they weren't!! There's so much evidence to prove it too..! The way they're dressed, the-
[Ivan spots the crown on Katelyn's head.]
Ivan: ..Huh? A crown..? Maybe the mermaid queen?! The new mermaid queen?!? Yes! Perfect..! Need to get to shore and show everyone..!
Aphmau: Wow, that meal was wonderful.
Travis: I'm glad you enjoyed that. You even had seconds..! I.. really enjoy a woman who can eat.
Aphmau: I can't get over how amazing it was!
Alfredo: Aw, shucks! You act like you haven't eaten before.
[Once Alfredo clears the plates, Travis goes to Aph's side of the table and takes her hand.]
Amber: Oh no..! Prince Travis!
Garroth: What?
Amber: He made a move..! He's grabbing her hand!
Aaron: ..W-What?
Garroth: Ooh, spicy! Let me see.
Aphmau: W-What are you doing?
Travis: Is this too much?
Aphmau: T-Too much of what?
Amber: He is acting so barbaric!
Garroth: How?
Amber: He grabbed her hand, and they're holding hands!
Garroth: ..That's what you consider barbaric?
Amber: Yes!
Travis: Do you want.. what I want?
Amber: Did he really just ask that?!
Garroth: Woaho, baby! Finally, some action!
Aaron: Heh.. she wouldn't..!
Aphmau: I-..I think I do..
Aaron: What..?!
Garroth: Oh man this is gonna be good! He's probably never kissed a gal!
Amber: I'm putting a stop to this right now!
[Garroth grabs her when she tries to intervene.]
Amber: Hye!!
Garroth: Let the boy grow up! He isn't get to be a boy forever.
Aaron: I think Amber may have a point!
Amber: The prince just met her!
Aaron: Exactly!
Garroth: You just met her Aaron, but you've been running off with her!
Aaron: I mean they're out in public!
Travis: Are you sure you want this?
Aphmau: I'm sure.. May we have more food please?
[Everyone is shocked.]
Aphmau: ..What?
Travis: Nothing..! Nothing.. I suppose it was my fault, I didn't specify..
Aphmau: Oh don't worry! I specified. I told him we wanted food!
Travis: [sighs]
Garroth: She is dumb! She is just so dumb..! Ugh, I need to think of a different plan in case this doesn't work!
Amber: Ha! If anything Prince Travis is dumb for not specifying. ..I rather like that girl. She's cute and pure of mind.
Garroth: Didn't you hear what she-
Amber: You're the one thinking it! Don't force your thoughts on others!
Aaron: I'm just glad-
Garroth: Hm? What are you glad for?
Alfredo: Oh wow, you really are hungry, huh? You must really like seafood!
Travis: it's quite delectable seafood.
Aphmau: Seafood? Oh, that's right! I've been meaning to ask.. what is that? I mean.. I've had it before where I'm from, but I think you call it the same thing.. but it tastes
different?
Travis: Are you serious? [laughs] Well, I suppose perhaps maybe where you're from it.. might mean a different thing.
Aphmau: What is it?
Travis: Well, seafood here are dishes consisting of fish of course.
Aphmau: W-What..?!
Travis: Such as flounder, lobster, shark, salmon.. you know, anything from the sea.
Aphmau: Y-You're.. kidding me.. So I just.. I just ate fishfolk..!
Travis: Um.. yeah.
Alfredo: Yeah! And since you liked it so much, I can tell you exactly how I made it! Since I used bass, you have to cut off his fins- with a knife! Then, you scale it with a knife and rip off the scales! Then, you cut the head off and slice open the-
[Aphmau throws up off the side of the ship.]
Travis: Milady, are.. you okay?
Aphmau: Blehhh..!
Travis: Are you allergic to seafood?
Aphmau: I'm going to be sick..!
Travis: Well, look on the bright side! You threw up in the ocean, so the other fish will just eat what you threw up!
Aphmau: [screams] No!
Garroth and Aaron: [laughs]
Amber: That isn't funny!
Garroth: Oh, are-.. are you kidding me..?! That was-.. Ohhh no..! She's vomiting on my ship!
Amber: [laughs] Now that's funny!
Aphmau: Ugh...
Garroth: How could you throw up on my ship?!
Travis: She was sick.
Garroth: Sick?! How dare she be sick?!
Amber: Milady.. are you all right?
Aphmau: I'm fine, just.. ugh..
Amber: You should stay down. Here, drink some water.
Alfredo: So I, uh.. take it that's a no on thirds?
Garroth: Clean up the mess!
Alfredo: Y-Yes sir.
Amber: Prince Travis.. you've got, um.. your shirt is messy.
Garroth: There's vomit on it.
Amber: Don't be so blunt! Do you have anything he could change into?
Garroth: [sighs] Yeah, yeah.. Follow me.
Travis: Wait here, milady. I'll be back.
[They leave Aphmau alone with Aaron.]
Aphmau: I don't.. want to do this date anymore.
Aaron: You want the hair..
Aphmau: [sighs] I'm starting to think this isn't worth it..
Aaron: Wow, are you thinking for yourself?
Aphmau: I'm just.. tired. I'm homesick. I want to go home.
Aaron: [groans] What song do you like?
Aphmau: Huh?
Aaron: You said before that your princess or whatever.. sang you a song to calm you down. What song was it?
Aphmau: Oh, um.. it's.. [incomprehensible merspeak]
Aaron: Huh?
Aphmau: I said [incomprehensible merspeak]
Aaron: And that's how you pronounce it?
Aphmau: It's in merspeak, so you probably wouldn't..
Aaron: Alright, you know what? I'll just.. improvise.
Aphmau: Huh?
[Aaron sits down beside her and hums Distant Worlds. She falls asleep on his shoulder.]
Aaron: ..Hey! Hey hey, come on, get off!
[He pushes her off.]
Aphmau: I'm awake! I'm awake!
Aphmau: Jeez, I was humming so you can calm down- not so you can fall asleep!
Aphmau: I'm so sorry..! But you sounded so soothing, and I- [gasps]
Aaron: ..What's wrong?
[In the distance, she spots Ivan pulling an Katelyn and Teony, still unconscious, onto a dock.]
Aaron: Oh, that's... You see, sometimes people die. And..
Aphmau: Those women..
Aaron: Women are people, and they die too.. I know it's sad because all women are angels, but-
Aphmau: No! That's Katelyn and Teony!
[She gets up and starts to run off towards them.]
Aaron: ..Hey! Where are you going?!
Ivan: All right, they're on shore...! Are they still breathing? ..Yep! Yep, still breathing! I just need to find some rope, or-
Aphmau: Teony! Katelyn!
[Ivan draws a dinky sword.]
Ivan: Halt!
Aphmau: Eep..!
Ivan: This is my catch, and I'm not having anyone mess this up!
Aphmau: Who are you..?!
Ivan: I'm going to prove to this town that I'm not crazy at all!!
Aaron: What's going on?
Ivan: I've caught mermaids!
Aaron: Ugh.. Ivan, not again..
Aphmau: Those are my friends!
Ivan: ..Huh?
Aaron: Those-.. so they are!
Ivan: You're friends.. with mermaids?! Who are you?
Aaron: Wait.. those aren't mermaids.
Aphmau: Yes they-
Ivan: Wait what was she going to say?!
Aaron: She can't talk. Well she just spoke!
Aphmau: [muffled] What are you doing?!
Aaron: [whispering] I'm trying to save your friends.
Aphmau: [muffled] Oh.
Aaron: Ivan just gave the ladies over to us.
Ivan: Never! They're mermaids! And I'm going to use them to prove to everyone I'm not crazy!
Aaron: They don't have fins, Ivan. They aren't mermaids, mermaids don't exist.
Ivan: They do, I know they do! And they took Lucinda from me!
Aaron: Ivan, you just need to calm down. Look at them. Do they have mermaid tails?
Ivan: N-..No, they don't. But they will! Just give them time, I-
[A sword is drawn on him. Travis and Amber approach from behind.]
Travis: Let these ladies go.
Ivan: Shoot.. I promise it's not what it looks like!
Amber: Save it for the guards. Speaking of which.. guards?
Guard: Yes ma'am!
Amber: I see the village guards are as timely as ever. Please escort this man here away.
Ivan: No! Please! I promise you, they are mermaids! MERMAIDS!
Amber: You'll be able to explain everything when the chief guard speaks with you. Honestly, I swear! Women are not prizes to be taken.
[Ivan is arrested and taken away.]
Aphmau: Katelyn! Teony!
Travis: We need to get them to safety, and fast.
Amber: Is Captain Garroth's ship available?
Aaron: I'm sure.
Amber: Even if it isn't, I'm commandeering it anyway. Quickly, let's get these ladies to rest.
Garroth: H-Hey..! What are you guys doing back here so soon?
Amber: We ran into an issue.
Garroth: Oh, darn it!
Aaron: Why are you making such a fuss?
Garroth: [whispering] Because I thought you and dumb girl over there ran off to be alone, and that would give me time! But Prince Travis and Mom-guard over there ran after you!
Aaron: [whispering] We've got bigger issues.
Garroth: What the-..? Why are there more women on my boat?
Amber: Got a problem with that?
Garroth: No, actually.. They're hot.
Amber: Barbarian!
Garroth: Hey, look! I like what I see, but the real question is why are they passed out on my deck?!
Amber: Because! There is no way I'm letting ladies like these go into this boat with a crew of pirates!
Garroth: No, you guys need to get off the boat, now!
Amber: Make me.
Garroth: Fine, I will!
[Amber draws her sword.]
Garroth: Okay, never mind..! I see your point.
Amber: Hmph.
Garroth: Just trust me, you are going to regret staying here.
Amber: I beg to differ.
Aphmau: Katelyn.. Teony.. Please.. don't be dead..
Travis: Don't worry, they're fine. See? They're breathing.
[He looks at Katelyn and blushes.]
Aphmau: Then why won't they wake up?
Amber: Possibly head trauma. What do you think Prince Travis? ..Travis, are you.. ogling her?!
Travis: W-What? No, no no! I just couldn't help but notice the tiara she has.
Aphmau: She's a princess..
Travis: A princess?
Aphmau: Kiss her!
Travis: What?
Amber: Lady no, that's not pure..!
Aphmau: Haven't you heard the story of the Clam Prince?
Travis: Excuse me..?
Aphmau: There was a prince who turned into a clam. But then a beautiful princess came and kissed him, and bam! He was woke!
Amber: Um, you mean the Frog Prince. And I don't think that's how the story goes..!
Garroth: Just wake them up so you guys could get off this ship now!
Aaron: Why are you acting so weird?
Garroth: No reason!
Katelyn: [groans]
Aphmau: Katelyn!!
Teony: [groans]
Aphmau: Teony..! They're alive!!
Amber: Prince Travis, give them some room!
[The two girls wake up, sitting up.]
Katelyn: ...Where am I..? Aphmau?!
Teony: Aphmau!
Aphmau: Teony, Katelyn!
[The trio hug.]
Aphmau: I missed you guys so much!
Katelyn and Teony: We thought you were dead!
Aphmau: [sobs] I thought you guys were dead!
[Everyone else around them hears it as incomprehensible merspeak.]
Aaron: [to himself] That's right..! They can't speak human!
Garroth: W-What is going on?
Travis: Their native language..?
Amber: It's so cultural!
Garroth: Okay whatever, fine- reunion and everything like that! But we need to get you guys off this ship before-
Redbeard: Well well well. Prince Travis.
Amber: Redbeard. What is he doing here?
Redbeard: Why else would I be here? To collect a reward, of course!
Amber: And what reward would that be, you conniving pirate?!
Redbeard: Welp, here's the thing. You see, Garroth over there tipped me off about Prince Travis being here while you guys were gone for a bit. So I figured, why not kidnap him and collect some reward money for his safe return?
Amber: I knew you were no good pirate!
Garroth: Hey, you knew I was a pirate this whole time!
Travis: I trusted you!
Garroth: Yeah, but your date was going to all hells, and this was going nowhere! So I'm going to get on out of here, and just leave.
Amber: Why, you-! When I-
Katelyn: Wait.. A-Are these..
Teony: ..humans?!
Aphmau: Yes, they exist- and I can explain!
Redbeard: Men, retrieve the prince!
Redbeard's Crew: Aye! Huzzah!
[A fight ensues. Amber tries her best but is kicked to the ground and restrained. Travis is, as well.]
Redbeard: [laughs] Good work, men!
Aphmau: T-..Travis..!
Redbeard's Crew Member: Hey boss, what about these ladies?
Redbeard: Yeah, grab them too.
Aaron: No you don't!
[Aaron tries to stop him, but is kicked aside. He grabs Aphmau. Another crew member grabs Katelyn.]
Aphmau: Hey..! Let me go!
Katelyn: [yells]
Teony: Katelyn..! Aphmau!
[Teony slaps the men away with her fin.]
Redbeard: By Irene...Th-Th-Those are.. mer-
Travis: ..maids?!
Amber: Mermaids?!
Aaron: No...
Aphmau: Oh no..